Starting this blog about my new workout goals couldn’t have come at a better time in my life.
It started at a time in my life when I felt a heightened sense of self-doubt, anxiety and insecurity. I had just quit a job that offered me a lot of security: decent pay, decent hours, reasonable commute. And yet, I was miserable and passionless; I woke up with no real motivation to get me through the day. So I quit and traded security for insecurity, with no real sense what I wanted from life or what lie ahead.
Rather than feeling elated when I left my job, I felt lost and insecure. Instead of looking forward to having time to discover my passions, I felt disappointed that I hadn’t figured it out yet (I mean you’re supposed to have your life figured out at 26, right?). And that stung all the more because I used to know what I loved and what I wanted to be: a journalist.
I knew I wanted to be a reporter since high school. I worked my butt off through college, landed a political reporting internship in Washington D.C., and was lucky enough to get a reporting position out of college. It was everything I’d worked for and everything I’d wanted.
Until it wasn’t. About a year into the job, I remember crying in my car on my way to an assignment because I was so exhausted and because my editor was on my ass again about something. I remember in that moment thinking I don’t want this anymore.
That was pretty deflating. All my life I’ve set goals and worked towards achieving them. And now I had no idea what to do.
When I started this blog, I didn’t think much would come from it. I’d hoped that it’d get me to go to the gym more and I set a goal for myself to participate in a competition, but in reality I had no confidence in myself that I could achieve any of it.
I could not have been more wrong.
In the two months since I started this, I’ve gone from going to the gym zero days a week to four, plus a ballet class twice a week. I can see the difference in my energy levels, my body, and most importantly, my confidence. Even the trainers notice the difference.
Setting a goal as small as “go to the gym more” made me realize that yes, I can in fact set and achieve goals successfully. More than that, I can set a goal and learn a lot from all the highs and lows along the way.
This little achievement has helped reignite confidence that I will, in fact, figure out a new career path. Doing something I never thought I could do — like weight training — helped me realize there are careers other than journalism out there for me.
And it’s made me realize that figuring it out is a goal in and of itself. There’s a lot I can learn along the way.